Jobs I am currently
qualified for
Speed Bump
Innocent bystander
Buoy
Patient Zero
Stapler
Fox News Anchor
Cautionary tale
Person of interest
Punching bag
Jobs I discovered I
am surprisingly unqualified for
Guy who stands outside business flipping a sign – too
uncoordinated
Mannequin – too fidgety
Mathematician – lack even a basic understanding of
mathematics
Guy who reads to blind people – allergic to canes
Pet Psychic – my powers only work on undomesticated animals
Limousine Driver—I don’t look good in hats
Milton Scholar --
Only read the Wikipedia page
Jobs I would take if they were real
Freelance
millionaire
Tickle Monster
Things I feel bad
about right now
That Fox News joke from earlier seems a little easy
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