Sunday, November 3, 2013

Jobs I am Currently Qualified For

Jobs I am currently qualified for
Speed Bump
Innocent bystander
Buoy
Patient Zero
Stapler
Fox News Anchor
Cautionary tale
Person of interest
Punching bag



Jobs I discovered I am surprisingly unqualified for
Guy who stands outside business flipping a sign – too uncoordinated
Mannequin – too fidgety
Mathematician – lack even a basic understanding of mathematics
Guy who reads to blind people – allergic to canes
Pet Psychic – my powers only work on undomesticated animals
Limousine Driver—I don’t look good in hats
Milton Scholar --  Only read the Wikipedia page



Jobs I would take if they were real
Freelance millionaire
Tickle Monster                  

Things I feel bad about right now
That Fox News joke from earlier seems a little easy



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