Dear JJ Abrams,
I understand the
stress you must be under right now as you prepare to begin filming episode VII,
so please know that I really, really appreciate you taking the time to read this
letter. I know that the many demands of a project such as this doesn’t leave
much time for anything else, even things like family time, which you’ve
mentioned really valuing in several interviews, so the fact that you are
reading this shows your commitment to the fans. Very cool.
Sir, I am a fan.
A big fan. A life-long fan. Many of the best memories of my life are tinged
with elements of Star Wars…dressing as C-3PO for Halloween four years in a row
as a kid (my sister Ellie accompanied me as R2 the first two years, and then
our parents divorced and she went to live with my mom, so our dog, Wedge, took
her place). In high school, I was nearly successful in getting Rebel Fanfare played at the prom. When
episode I came out, my mom skipped her chemo treatment to bring me to the
earliest possible showing the day it was released.
I’m not telling
you these things to brag, sir, but to show you that I am what I claim to be.
Like many fans,
I’ve spent years thinking about what episode VII might have in store for us.
I’m sure you are aware of this. If you know where to look, the internet is rife
with fan-scribed scripts for the film, most of them laughably inept (my
personal favorite is entitled Star Wars
Episode 7: The Fear Strikes and features a scene where Princess Leia,
dressed in the metal bikini from Jedi,
eats an entire watermelon in slow motion while an ewok laps up the juices that
run down her body. Where to even begin? She kept that bikini, really? She was
forced to wear that as a slave to Jabba, you think she held on to it? Let’s not
even get started on how someone who lived a long time ago in a galaxy far, far
away got their hands on a watermelon. Maybe if they’d called it something else,
whatever, a zarkomelon or something, it could have passed…but in the script
it’s referred to as a watermelon four times. It’s beyond ridiculous. I have the
whole thing as a pdf; I can send it to you if you want).
Sir, I have a
suggestion for something I believe—something I strongly believe—must appear in
the Episode VII. A single scene. See, unlike many other fans, I trust you, sir.
I trust you to come up with a thrilling plot, to create character arcs true to
the originals that also push things forward, to craft a movie worthy of our
high hopes. There’s this one scene, though, that’s always been bouncing around
my mind—more of a moment than a scene, really, and I’d like to pitch it. I do
not require any financial compensation for this, I don’t want a credit, I don’t
want tickets to the premier. I ask for nothing, sir, because I believe so
strongly in this single moment which I will describe momentarily that seeing it
included in the film, knowing that it will enrich this film and universe that
has meant more to me than anything else, is compensation enough.
Okay, enough
build-up! Again, thanks for your time. I believe that there should—no, that
there must—be a scene in the new Star
Wars movie where Han and Leia’s kid is acting crazy and Han and Leia look at
each other and say “She takes after you!” simultaneously.
That’s it. Just
that little moment. You can choose what Han and Leia’s daughter is doing to
illicit this reaction, you can put it at any point in the film you find
suitable. Personally I think it would work well as a humorous moment during an
otherwise intense action sequence, to momentarily break the tension, but again,
beyond pitching this one exchange my intent is not to be prescriptive.
I believe this
scene will accomplish a few things. First of all, it will signal to the
audience that even though Han and Leia have been married for decades that their
dynamic and chemistry has remain unchanged. Having them speak the same
accusatory thought at the same time shows that they are still tough on each
other but that they also have a lot in common, that they are essentially
thinking with one mind. So in that way, the exchange is humorous and
insightful. I think it also shows how much Han and Leia see of themselves in
each other, and how much of themselves they see in their daughter. This will
make their family unit seem that much stronger and more endearing to the
audience.
This moment is
also keeping with the sense of humor of the earlier films, which often had
elements of screwball comedy. I think it’s become popular to disparage the
humor in the series, but I believe (and I’m guessing you agree) that Lucas was
specifically attempting to capture the slightly hokey, old fashioned tone of
the films he enjoyed as a youth, just as the films themselves were meant to
mimic old serials. In this way, the humor in the films is actually quite
sophisticated; another reason I believe this moment I am suggesting will fit
perfectly with whatever you have planned.
I’ll be honest,
sir—this exchange has roots in my own life. My parent’s divorce was very
difficult for me, and as I mentioned above my sister eventually went to live
with my father in Lubbock while I stayed behind with mom. One night, right
before their final split, my parent’s were up late deciding custody issues,
unaware that I was listening in. They both anxiously wanted custody of my
sister, but when it came time to discuss my fate, can you guess what they said?
Can you guess what they said simultaneously? I bet you can. Only I don’t think
they meant it in the sweet, fun, loving way I envision for Han and Leia. My
parents weren’t thinking with one mind, they were accusing one another. Instead
of seeing elements of themselves in me, they saw elements of one another—the
very same elements they were divorcing to escape.
So I guess if I’m
being honest—and I am, sir, as it’s only right to be honest with someone I
respect as much as I respect you—I am hoping that the inclusion of this moment
in Episode VII will both enrich the film and bring me a sense of peace. I go to
bed most nights with those words…he takes after you…running through my mind. Hearing
them from Han and Leia may be the only way to bring me peace.
In closing, I
hope you consider my proposal. I have a lot of respect for you, and I’ve been a
vocal supporter of many of your projects (even the ones that were a little more
difficult to defend). While I do have personal motivations behind my suggested
scene, know that the sanctity of Star Wars is always first and foremost in my
thoughts.
