Thursday, March 13, 2014

8 things I'd love to overhear said in public

Who do you think would win if Batman and Superman had sex?

Not to sound racist but Mongolians know what the fucks up when it comes to barbecue.

I had to stop doing the Humpty Dance for political reasons.

All right, I got to get home and give my iguana his pill.

Bubble Tape is all right, I was just raised in a Big League Chew family.

Glen, Gary, Glen, Ross—all dead.

Mention horseradish again, see what the fuck happens.


Sorry if this is a stupid question, but which way is up from here?

2 comments:

  1. "No, I have no idea how Stephen Hawking got my cell number."

    "Fuck Lando Calrissian in his stupid vest-wearing ass."

    "I could find it if we had the Cartesian coordinates."

    "For the last time, Emily - all pigs are potbellied pigs! Fuck!"

    Note: Spelled Calrissian correctly without looking it up. Considered changing it to something incorrect to make myself feel like less of a loser. It didn't work. I changed it back.

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