OSCAR TRIVIA

The ceremony, which idolizes the rich and famous, has traditionally been held on a Sunday to mock God.

In 1989, the Academy courted controversy when it chose Rude Dog to host the ceremony. Rude Dog won over many viewers with his irreverent attitude, interrupting long acceptance speeches with burps and guitar stings, but was not invited to host again following Academy member Rin-Tin-Tin publishing an angry editorial in the New York Times pointing out that Rude Dog was in fact a fictional character.

Complaining about the length of the ceremony has become a staple of the evening, but the 4 hour duration of the program pales in comparison to the decades that the North Korean government has been allowed to subjugate its people with absolutely no international intervention.

In 1991, Beauty and the Beast made Oscar history as the first animated film to be nominated in the Best Picture category, but was one of 57 films released that year to reinforce the notion that beautiful women will fall for a brutish, hideous man if he’s rich.

Until 1944, award winner were chosen by the Rockefeller family. Since then, winners have been decided by members of the Bilderberg group. 

The winner of each category gets a statue, but the losers don’t walk away empty-handed—every nominee receives shard of the true cross, which is then returned to the Academy and recycled following the recipients death.

Many Oscar winners remark on how heavy the statuette is, due to their being privileged millionaires unused to doing anything for themselves.

Ellen Degeneres is the first female host who hasn’t slept with Ted Danson.

Billy Crystal’s Will stipulates that following his death his corpse be dipped in gold and displayed at future Oscar ceremonies.

The Mayan calendar makes no reference to the Academy awards, leading many to believe that the 86 year history of the show is nothing more than a collective hallucination.